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TNA Bound For Glory Results & Thoughts
By NICHOLAS SPEARS, MOP Squad Sports Staff Writer
Oct 16, 2007 - 12:05:47 AM

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TNA has another pay-per-view in the books and, while Bound For Glory was nowhere near as exhilarating as WWE’s No Mercy, there were plenty of highlights that made the event worth watching. However, a couple of poor attempts at “sports entertainment” kept it from having the WrestleMania-sized feeling it has had in the past. The never-ending series of backstage skits involving Kurt Angle, his wife and Kevin Nash really killed a lot of the main event’s heat before the match even had the chance to take place. The pay-per-view really could’ve gone off the air in style had it not been for that one major screw-up.

Onto a more in-depth rundown of the event, but before I get into that, allow me to remind you of my grading scale. Stars are boring, plain and simple. Therefore, I offer something different. It’s the “Kicks to the Testicles” scale of match grading. Simply put, the grading range is 1 through 5 kicks to the testicles. The more kicks to the testicles the match or segment warrants, the better it is. Today’s lucky recipient will be Don West, a man whose work last night—if you want to call it that—more than proved he’s the worst commentator this side of Michael Cole.

Onto the show…

LAX vs. Elix Skipper & Senshi of Triple X
Analysis: This match was lot better than I thought it’d be and a great choice to kick things off. All four men busted their butts and then some. Would’ve been a little more enjoyable had Triple X gotten the win, but that’s only a minor gripe and didn’t take too much away from the watchability of this match. Despite the loss, I’m hoping Triple X sticks together for a little while longer. I forgot just how good Senshi and Skipper were as a team. Last night reminded me big time.
Review: 4 Kicks to Don West’s Testicles

Analysis: To be honest, I didn’t know what to expect from this match, as they really didn’t publicize much about it before the pay-per-view, aside from the title shot at stake. Loved the “reverse battle royal” rules, as it was different from the norm and added a lot of suspense to the match. The match itself did a lot of good things. First and foremost, it kicked off what I’m hoping will be a lengthy push for Eric Young. What can I say? I just love the guy as a wrestler and a personality. He plays the kooky underdog role better than anybody else in the business right now. I’m pleased he got the win here and hope he goes far in the tournament itself. The match was also successful in doing something the WWE couldn’t do despite numerous tries. It made me care about Junior Fatu (a.k.a. Rikishi). Early on in the match, I was really rooting for the big man, who seems to have gotten his wrestling groove back.
Review: 5 Kicks to Don’s West Testicles

Team Pacman (c) vs. AJ Styles & Tomko
Analysis: This match was a real mixed bag of nuts. On the plus side, Pacman Jones himself was replaced and, in the end, Styles and Tomko wound up winning the belts. However, the jury’s still out on Rasheed Lucius Consequences Creed. He seems more like a cartoon character than an actual wrestler. Another foolhardy attempt at WWE style booking, I suppose. I am pleased the belts are off Team Pacman, though, and I think the finish was brilliantly done.
Review: 3 Kicks to Don West’s Testicles

“Black Machismo” Jay Lethal (c) vs. “Fallen Angel” Christopher Daniels
Analysis: Eh. I’m glad Lethal retained, but that’s all I can really say about this match. Daniels seemed to be going through the motions and I can’t say I blame him. Bookers have turned him into a joke. I wish he’d go back to the “Fallen Angel” we all know and love. I probably wouldn’t have been so unimpressed with this match had it occurred before Ultimate X, but all the action I saw there blew everything Lethal and Daniels did here straight out of the water.
Review: 2 Kicks to Don West’s Testicles

Steiner Brothers vs. Team 3D
Analysis: Wow, these four guys really proved me wrong. I was worried this was going to be a train wreck, but it wound up being a great end to the feud. Scott Steiner proved he still has it in him. That Frankensteiner was off the charts, as was the bulldog off the top rope through the table. I’m curious to see where the booking of the tag division goes from here. I wouldn’t mind seeing a feud between the Steiners and Styles & Tomko, or even a three-way scuffle for the belts with the Steiners, Styles/Tomko and LAX. Both are very intriguing possibilities.
Review: 4 Kicks to Don West’s Testicles


Awesome Kong likes Pine Sol, baby...

Analysis: Easily the match of the night. It was unpredictable and suspenseful with more honest-to-goodness wrestling than any recent WWE Women’s Title matches combined. There wasn’t a woman in this match who didn’t give a hundred and ten percent. I was particularly impressed with Awesome Kong, Talia Madison, ODB and, of course, your new TNA Women’s Champion, the lovely Gail Kim. On a side note, the resemblance Kong bears to the Pine-Sol lady is frightening, almost as frightening as the wardrobe malfunction she experienced during this match. Thank God I was finished with my chicken curry by that point in the evening.
Review: 5 Kicks to Don West’s Testicles

Christian Cage vs. Samoa Joe
Analysis: Solid match that was ruined by pointless overbooking. Cage and Joe worked their asses off here, but Matt Morgan’s involvement took a little of the magic out of the match for me. Yet another example of an attempt at WWE style booking gone horribly wrong. It was the theme of the evening, sadly.
Review: 3 Kicks to Don West’s Testicles

Raven vs. Abyss vs. “Black Reign” Dustin Rhodes vs. Rhino
Analysis: This match looked interesting on paper, but it fell short of its potential in its execution. Firstly, it was too short and we didn’t get to see all four men shine as much as we should’ve. Secondly, Rhino seemed out of place. I’m assuming he was Judas Messiah’s substitute. The finish was awesome, but that’s about it. On the plus side, though, it was good to see Raven in fighting shape again. Hope he sticks around.
Review: 2 Kicks to Don West’s Testicles

Kurt Angle (c) vs. Sting

"Big Sexy" Michael McDonald?

Analysis: As I said before, all the pre-match sports entertainment shenanigans took a little of the heat away from this match, in my opinion. This had the potential to be on the same level as Sting’s first high profile match with Ric Flair in the old NWA, but bookers ruined the chances of that occurring when they decided to give it a Days of Our Lives-esque backstory. Another thing that killed the match’s momentum for me was Don West. Either he was drunk or somebody gave his gums a shot of Novocain before this match. His speech was slurring and, at times, I couldn’t even understand what in the world he was saying. The ending almost had the same mystical feeling of an epic title change. The key word there is almost. I’m still bewildered as to why Kevin Nash was involved in this. By the way, somebody better get Big Kev some Just For Men hair coloring. He looks like Michael McDonald from the Doobie Brothers. I’m just waiting for him to come out and wow the crowd with his rendition of “What a Fool Believes.”
Review: 3 Kicks to Don West’s Testicles

Average Match Score: 3 Kicks to Don West’s Testicles

Not bad, but nowhere near as good as No Mercy. Once TNA learns they cannot compete with the WWE on the sports entertainment front, hopefully they’ll go back to concentrating on putting on great WRESTLING matches. Until then, I’m afraid TNA will be nothing more than WWE’s inbred hick cousin. They’re the Cousin Eddie of Professional Wrestling.


Does that make Dixie Carter Aunt Edna?

Until next time…

Nicholas Spears

Copyright 2007 - MOP Squad Sports

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